Old Karen
by CineMariel
Summary: Lip visits Karen every day, but today is different.


**Author's Note: This was in response to a prompt I got on tumblr. I expanded it a bit. Karen's departure from the show was so bleak I wanted to try something a bit more cautiously optimistic. **

Lip went over as often as he could. It wasn't easy. Seeing her like that. She was so quiet and even though he knew physically she wasn't different, it was like she had shrunk. Whatever way you thought about it, Karen Jackson was only a fraction of the girl she used to be.

When Lip thought about the reckless, unpredictable girl he knew and compared her to the quiet, feeble girl who spent most days in bed, it made him sick. The Old Karen would hate being cooped up all day. The new Karen mostly liked smoothies.

But every once and a while she looked at him like she knew him. And that made him believe that the Old Karen was in there. It wasn't like it used to be but considering how they'd been right before the accident maybe "not like it used to be" wasn't so terrible.

So, whenever he could, Lip visited. Sheila had decided against sending her to Sedona for now. It was too expensive. They would wait a few months to see if there were any changes before moving her away.

When Fiona asked Lip why he visited, Lip told her it seemed like the right thing to do. But he was lying. He was there because felt responsible for what had happened to her. Mandy had hit her because she had wanted his undivided attention. Which Lip couldn't give her, especially not with Karen around.

He was also there because he wanted to see her any way he could and he held out a secret hope that somehow, he was the one who could save her. There had to be something he could say or do that would pull her out of this.

Most days, he would carry her outside to the porch so they could talk outside. He thought a change of scenery was probably good for her. It seemed like what the Old Karen would want. Sometimes he'd read to her, other times he'd just tell her what was going on at school or with his family. Anything pleasant, he figured she'd had enough negative things in her life. But one day, Jodi was spraying for pesticides in the garden so Lip and Karen had to stay inside.

"Hey Karen," Lip pulled up a chair next to her bed.

"Hi," Karen gave him a shy smile before averting her eyes. Sheila had dressed her in jeans and a sweatshirt. She must have known that Lip was coming over and that the two of them would be out in the cold.

"I was going to take you outside," Lip tried to catch her eye but failed. "But Jodi is gardening."

"Gardening," Karen repeated, lacing her fingers together.

Lip was used to this repeating. Karen could answer simple questions and ask ones of her own. But conversations weren't easy. She mostly just repeated whatever you said.

"I'm warm," Karen shifted uncomfortably.

Lip unzipped her jacket and gently slid her arms through it. He couldn't help but compare it to helping Liam dress. Especially when Karen helplessly allowed him to pull the sweatshirt out from behind her. He never got used to seeing her this childlike. The Karen he knew was always one step ahead of everybody. She had something to say about everything.

"Better?" he asked her, brushing the hair out of her eyes.

Karen nodded.

"So anyway," Lip said. "Jodi's planting a bunch of weird exotic plants that he read are good for you online. They probably taste like shit. So... sorry."

"Fuck that!" Karen scoffed.

Lip's mouth fell open.

Karen threw back her head and laughed. Her old laugh not her new feeble giggle. Her eyes sparkled and for a second Lip was sure that Karen was about to roll her eyes at his shock and tell him that she had been faking the whole time. That this was another one of her crazy plans.

But then she sighed and went back to staring intently at her fingers.

"Karen?"

Karen looked up at him, she looked so innocent and trusting as the corners of her mouth turned up.

"Lip," she mumbled, nodding at him.

"What did you just say?" he leaned in. Had she had a breakthrough?

"I said Lip."

Lip shook his head. "Before that, Karen."

"Oh," Karen sighed and thought hard. "You told me Jodi was going to make me eat something gross..."

Lip held his breath. He took her hand, and started tracing circles on the back of it with his thumb. Old Karen had liked that. At least, he thought she had.

"...and," she looked at him, her face the picture of concentration "I said... fuck that shit."

Lip couldn't believe it, she was talking.

"If I have to- have to..."

He nodded, not wanting to cut her off, hoping against hope she would say more.

"Sit here all day..."

He took her hand, taking in every word intently.

"... 'th everyone... talk to me like I'm in kin-"

She cuts off. But Lip wants to hear the rest of this sentence.

"Kindergarden?" he asks.

She nods.

"I should... what I want."

Lip laughed. He had spent all this time with her speaking gently, reading to her, telling her what was going on at school. But she wanted him to treat her like he used to. That was what was going to get her back.

"I like..." she started quietly. "I like when you laugh."

He kissed her on the top of her head.

"I like when you make me laugh," he told her. He was going to get Karen back. Whatever it took.


End file.
